Song; God WIll Make a Way

So I've been going through a tough time right now. I don't know how to even begin explaining how I have been feeling lately other than absolutely horrible! Why? Well how would you feel if you felt jealous of your best friend? Or rather of the person who likes your best friend? But not jealous in the fact that he likes her but rather, because you feel as though he's replacing you as your best friend's best friend. That's a tongue twister!

I really want to support both of them because they're close friends of mine, but how can I do that when I get irritated every time he shows affection to her? Is it because she doesn't refuse the affection or is it something else?

I really don't know what to do. I'm doing my best to be a friend to both without trying to betray either side.

On a side note this song popped into my head this morning and I really think it fits with how i'm thinking lately. :)

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

Self-Defense

One thing that concerns me a lot is the attack on women. Not that men aren't attacked and raped too, but it seems that the majority of the attacks are aimed at women. And why is that? is it because they are seemingly an easier prey, more defenseless and thus are targeted?

I think that women are targeted because they are seem are objects of satisfaction, rather than human beings.

And to prevent them from being treated like objects I think they should all be given the chance to learn how to defend themselves. When I was in middle school I started taking a self-defense class but I never felt like I improved. I often felt like I was just learning the fancy footwork that people want to just gawk at on TV or something, but nothing useful. Nothing I could use to defend myself or friends on a daily basis. Then for my senior project I took a different self-defense class for 10 weeks. And although it was a shorter experience than my previous self-defense class, this class was particularly aimed at self-defense for women. So we learned how to use our voices as a guard, as well as a few short but very effective attacks and counter attacks.

I honestly feel now that if I were attacked by someone I would be able to defend myself at least a little bit. And taking Aikido in college has also helped with my confidence. I am much more sure of myself as I walk down the street by myself, and this security is something I wish everyone women could feel.

I strongly recommend that everyone enrolls into a self-defense class of some sort, because if nothing else it is exercise with a bit of safety drilled into it.

Update

"So I've got nearly 2 bags full of clothes to donate now! I'm really excited about this project!"

At least that's what I'd like to say. I'm beginning to get discouraged, it seems that there is no end in sight to the amount of clothes I've picked through! But then I remember why I'm doing this and it inspires me to keep sorting a little longer. But sooner or later I need to remind myself again what I learned at Sacred Heart and during the Plunge.

Well tomorrow is a new day though i heard it is to be in the 90s and 100s! Hopefully I'll get more cleared up by then.

Clearing out the Luxuary

So to take my own advice from my previous post I have started going through all of my clothes finding NUMEROUS shirts I hadn't seen in a while, as well as pants. And if I got along so well without realizing they were there then I don't need them anymore do I? I might as well give them to someone who WILL find good uses for them.

And to top it off I've started going through my sister's clothes as well, of course they will be making the final decisions whether or not to keep their clothes, but if I can get the ball rolling all the better.

I'm hoping to have my clothes completely gone through by Saturday, then I will move on to my books and other items that I may or may not use frequently. Lastly I will go through my shoes and pick out the ones that I rarely ware, yet are still in good condition to also donate. It's kind of incredible how much "junk" you can accumulate while you're not looking! And at the same time how hard it is to get rid of some of the things you never use! Especially the ones that are presents from a family member or a close friend. I feel a deep sense of guilt when I look at it and put it in the donation pile, but I feel even guiltier when I look at it on a daily basis and realize I'm never going to use it, so it goes to waste in my hands. Once I donate I'm sure some other more-deserving person will receive it and enjoy so much more.

I wish to donate all of my things to Sacred Heart, however other donation sites are closer to my house than Sacred Heart so they might just end up there.

Alright! I'm off to conquer my clothes again!

Sacred Heart

So after InterVarsity's San Jose Urban Plunge (SJUP) I usually find myself convicted to sell all I have and live like the poor. Thus, I expected the same when I went again this past week. However, I did not feel that way.




I enjoyed volunteering at Sacred Heart I really did! I love working the counter at the clothes closet or food pantry where I could interact with the customers themselves. But I also helped out in the "behind-the-scenes" work too I sorted clothes, and helped people with their donations, sorted through all that, trying to decide whether or not the items were good enough to keep. I also worked in the freezer in the food pantry. THAT was also fun, mainly because it was hot that day, but also because I got to play "tetris" trying to fit everything into the fridge and freezer!

I personally thing that working to interact with the people I'm trying to help is the most beneficial for me. However, working the in back totally proved me wrong. When I worked the counter I got to see the people I was helping, but they would always thank "me" for helping them, for giving them food the things they need. But.. really all I was doing was handing them bags that had been prepared by my friends in the back of the room. I hadn't done anything. Then when I worked the back I realized how much of an impact it is to help out back there. Without the workers in the back the food wouldn't be prepared or packaged, or sorted through, and even though they might not have direct contact with the customers they were helping out in a big way. That was a big realization for me this past week.


And much to my surprise I enjoyed doing background work. I realized that I didn't need to be affirmed for the work I do by the people, just knowing, ME, that I did the work and that I was helping people out in the long run was thanks enough for me. At least that's what I'd like to say, I still seek some sort of appreciation, but I'm working on because, I think, somewhere in the Bible is says that everyone who has done good works on earth will be thanked in heaven. And if that's the case then I don't need the thanks that earth gives me, though, heart-felt "thank-yous" from the people I helped are very touching.


During our SJUP, the people at Sacred Heart had some of us IV kids work the petitioning. What we were supposed to do was get the customers to sign our petition which was to put 3 people on the Board of Director's. These three people were all people who had done numerous good works in the community and Sacred Heart believed that they would be a much welcomed help to the organization. Some of the people were really responsive! But not always in the helpful fashion. A couple of them attacked us while we were petitioning wanting repercussions right then and there, not wanting to wait for change to happen. And it was HARD because all these people wanted was what was rightfully theirs! They wanted a blanket, or clothes or food or some sort of shelter! And as citizens of America aren't these our rights? So why aren't we giving these people THEIR rights? And it hut because we couldn't do anything about it at the time, we could only tell them that change might happen with these people on Board.

Other things I realized during this time was that there is a huge language barrier between me and them. A lot of them are Latino, and I only speak limited Spanish due to 3 years of high school Spanish. In one case I needed the 9 year old daughter to be my translator! But working like this made me want to learn every language possible, or at least enough to be conversational. This is entirely unlikely but I'm going to do the best I can.

So what can we do to help?

First of all stop ignoring the poverty that is right next to you! If you acknowledge that we have a poverty problem that is the first step.

Second, take a step back and look at your lifestyle? Do you have an excessive amount of, say shirts, that you don't need anymore? Are there piles of clothes, books, toys, blankets just lying around your house? Luke 3:11 "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." And that's what we should do too. Go through your things, what do you have multiples of? What if our "wealth" wasn't measured by what we have but what we give away (Todd Madigan)? How much different would our world look at their materialistic luxuries?

Thirdly, go out and give these things that you have two of to those who need it, or if you cannot do that then donate your things to Sacred Heart, or another non-profit organization that has dedicated their life to serving the poor. Sacred Heart is located at 1281 S 1st St San Jose, CA 95110-3431.

Lastly tell everyone, and I really mean everyone! About what you learned from the act of giving, of donating and of your entire experience doing this. Spread the good news about what you've just done to help others. Because if everyone you told did the same as you news would spread fast and the percentage of poverty would decrease at a tremendous rate.

So...think about it ok? At least for a little while then go out and DO something to change the world, be the change you want to see in the world. (Mahatma Ghandi)

Job Searching

This economy is rough.

I know many parents who are being laid off because of budget cuts. And I can't help but feel awkward when they ask what I am to do with my summer. I mean after all in their eyes I'm nothing but a kid looking for a summer job.. and they're right! I'm looking for a job that will give me money and then when school starts up again I'll be gone. I am neither supporting myself nor my family, so what right do I have, to search for a job?

Even as I go about my normal life I see adults working in the places where I would normally seen teens or college students work. ie, Target, Walgreen, Trader Joes, and I feel like they are very over-qualified for those jobs.

But what is the downfall of the economy? Why are we losing money left and right suddenly? Some people blame Bush for the war and say that it costs tons of money to keep our soldiers in Iraq, and maybe they're right, but one person can't possibly be blamed for the outcome of a country! Or can they?

What about us as citizens; can we do anything about it? If we're in a money crisis, that means there's not enough money to go around.. so what do we do? We hoard it of course! If there's not enough for other people that means that there is not enough for us any more so we should hold on to it and never let go right? WRONG, I think that we only had to the crisis! During this time we should be spending our money in order to get our system running properly again. So that rather than being a pack rat with our money we should be sharing it with everyone, and if the whole country did that we surely would not be in a economic crisis any more. Especially with our billionaires out there. They should participate and not guard their money so closely, instead they ought to help out the world a bit, it's not as if, if they lose a million they'll be paupers, but that million could really help out the rest of us lower and middle class people.

What do you think?

Poem

As a welcome to myself, man how selfish do I sound? I am posting a poem I wrote in High School titled Backstage. It was for our school's journal the "Myriad," that year's theme was "Masks Off." I am actually pleased with this poem because it was my first free verse poem, and it was NOT depressing in any way.

Backstage

Behind the closed curtain, you wait with anticipation

for there lies a new dwelling unknown to you

however, if you dare step foot into the passage way

a word of warning:

once you step through the curtain you must not look back!

beyond that opening is a new experience

speak clearly so that all may hear what you have to say

be calm and do not stumble

then take your bow

and exit with flair and confidence

congratulations you were fantstic

now

"masks off" until next year

for the show is over

and the curtains close once again

So tell me what you think :).