Christmas Thoughts

Merry Christmas everyone! (to the one person that actually reads this)

Um... yeah! So I'll be leaving my blog and computer for about a week because I'm going to St. Louis! YAY!! Urbana '09 here I come!

Some thoughts for you (all) to ponder :D

My Wish For You
By: Ruth Bourdon

May you find serenity and tranquility
in a world you may not always understand

May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced
give you the strength to walk through life
facing each new situation with optimism and courage.

Always know that there are those
whose love and understanding
will always be there, even when you feel most alone.

May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace.
May a kind word, a reassuring touch, a warm smile, be yours every day of your life,
and may you give these gifts as well as receive them.

Rememeber the sunshine when the storm seems unending.
Teach love to those who know hate,
and let that love embrace you as you go into the world.

May the teaching of those you admire
become part of you, so that you may call upon them.

Remember, those whose lives you have touched
and who have touched yours are always a part of you,
even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.

May you not become too concerned
with material matters, but instead place
immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.

Find time each day to see the beauty and love in the world around you.
Realize that each person has limitless abilities,
but each of us is different in our own way.

What you may feel you lack in one regard
may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future.

May you see your future
as one filled with promise and possibility.
Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.

May you find enough inner strength
to determine your own worth by yourself,
and not be dependent on another's judgment of your own accomplishments

May you always feel loved.

Don't Look Back

As you travel through life there are always those times
when decisions just have to be made
when the choices are hard and solutions seem scarce
and the rain seems to soak your parade!

There are some situations where all you can
do is simply let go and move on,
gather courage together and chose a direction
that carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward.
The process of change can be tough.
But think about all the excitement ahead,
if you can be stalwart enough!

There could be adventures you never imagined
just waiting around the next bend
and wishes and dreams just about to come true
in ways you can't yet comprehend!

Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new interests
as you challenge your status quo
and learn there are so many options in life,
and so many ways you can grow!

Perhaps you'll go places you never expected
and see things that you've never seen,
or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds and
wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you'll find warmth, affection and caring,
a "somebody special" who's there
to help you stay centered and listen with interest
to stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends
are supportive of all that you do
and believe that whatever decisions you make,
they'll be the right choices for you!

So keep putting one foot in front of the other
and taking your life day by day.
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road.
Don't look back, you're not going that way!

Band and Thoughts

CONGRATS BAND! My high school's band just had their final performance tonight!! they were amazing~! I'm so happy i was able to volunteer staff for them over the summer as well as partially into their school year. I got to see my pit grow together as a "team" and overcome most obstacles.. and see my sister as well.

Today was their last show at Pleasanton (sp?) i dunno the spelling, but it was hosted by Logan High school at DVC!

Arise Oh Lord

My friend introduced this song to me last year around FallCon time and I just remembered it so.. I wanted to post the lyrics because I think they're beautiful. Simple yet so powerful.

Hear us Lord
Hear us now, Lord have mercy
Hear our prayer
Hear our cry for revival

Release Your power
Break our chains, set us free
Let us feel
Your joy again, set us free
Lord, come heal us

Arise, oh Lord
Demonstrate Your power
Arise, oh Lord
Demonstrate Your power
Demonstrate Your power

Mistake

I made a mistake
and realized it too late.
Was it by choice?
or merely fate.

All I wanted
was to say one word.
now I'm hurting people
while going unheard.

I hurt my friends
I hurt the people I love,
what can I do now
but seek advice from above?

Give me one more chance
to fix my mistake
and pray that it's right
before my life it might take

Meant to Part

So I wrote this last week, I dunno I just felt compelled to I guess? Life has been pretty crappy lately I've just been feeling down. I'm trying to be more optimistic but I don't know.. I feel like I need a long vacation where time just stops and I can get all the sh*t in my life figured out

So you think you understand me?
Well guess what? You're wrong.
You don't know what's inside my head
Or when my heart is hurting
You don't know when lay awake at night
or cry for hours on end.
Don't pretend to know
To love
To care
Or to sympathize with me
I'm so tired of your fake smiles.
Your see-through lies
And your cold embraces.
You can't fool me.
Nevertheless I can understand YOU
I don't know what's in your head,
Yet I can see your heart hurting.
I can feel when you cry yourself to sleep
Or when you lay awake with your thoughts
I do know you
I care about you
And I love you
So much that it hurts,
But your fake smiles kill me
Your see through lies cause despair
And your cold embrace leave me bitter.
What happened to what we had?
Warmth...
Friendship...
Love...
Did it die with your heart?
Or were we simple meant to part...?

Moron

I'm such an idiot

Seriously?

Really?

Why did I do that?

Why didn't I stop myself?

What... the... Hell....?!

I'm so stupid.... I should NOT have gone downtown.. I should have stayed in the dorms then at least I wouldn't have this guilty conscience telling me that I may have perpetuated my friend's sickness. Not just the conscience just...feeling bad all-together. I mean I totally knew she was sick, but nooo I had to be brilliant and take her off-campus...I'll never forgive myself if something happens....NEVER.

Offended

What happened to being open minded?

What happened to being nice?

What happened to respect?

I guess it all went up in smoke and died.

Yesterday, I was insulted in an awful roundabout way. I was told by a friend, who at a meeting with our IV staff member was talking about me. Not in a stabbed in the back sort of talking, but more like, a check in kind of talk. Nevertheless, I was still offended greatly. When asked how I was doing the response was "fine, but stressed out" presumably by school, my major and other such things. The former's response to that was to inquire my major. "literature" which is indeed quite true. I am majoring in literature, it was what was said next that grated on my nerves. "What? that is not a major to be stressed about." (the next phrase is paraphrased to keep names away) "now if it were a science major, THEN you could say you were stressed."

Excuse me? Who made you king of everything that stresses people out? What made you think you understand what I go through, what I find stressful, and what I do? Who are you to decide what should cause tension in MY life.

I think you have no right to declare so boldly what should or should not be stressful. What I find stressful may be a walk in the park for you, well ducky for you! I am not you, I will NEVER be you... I will always be me and me alone.

My initial response that I kept beneath my tongue and locked inside my head, from most except for right now was "well if you want me to not be stressed, then I'll just quit the group that I am a part of" because honestly that takes up most of my time and causes me the most stress. SO if I'm to be stress free I should ditch that first.

What do you think of that?

I realize the one who needs to possibly read this never will, which is alright. This is just to get it off my chest.

Slightly Stupid

Really? I'm a bit of an idiot.

So... brain fart moment!! and well.. just entirely a STUPID action...

I met this guy at Kairos, IV's large group meeting last Thursday, and he just introduced himself to me as a freshman and I talked to him 'cause I was friends with the people he came with. On Sunday for the church tour I meet up with him and a group of people again, and he re-introduces himself to me, while putting his arm around my shoulders. Kinda awkward but nor really..Throughout that day I was given the impression that he might like me, but he was fairly flirty with all the girls so I didn't give it a second thought *at least I didn't try to* Today I see him again, and he walks over to "say" hi while the worship team is playing, then after the talk and last few songs he comes over and tries to weave our fingers together, when i avoid that he pulls me into a hug. After talking for a bit, we went off and did our own mingling.. right before a large group of them went to late night for food, he came up and asked for my number. Thinking I could just give him my dorm number I said "sure." WITHOUT thinking I gave him my cell.... brilliant right? This guy I've only met three times now has my number.. I am so dead... why would I do something like that?! AGH!

So what do I do now? keep my phone off? I dunno I guess I'll figure it out.

Wishes

I'm just so sad right now, and irritated. I don't know what to do anymore to care I just can't. I wish I could figure things out. I wish I didn't have this pain. I wish that I knew what to do with my life and with my friends. I wish I didn't feel this way I wish that I could give this all up to "you."

The saddest thing is you could be anything, that you could want.
We could've been everything, but now we're not.
Now it's not anything at all.
The hardest part was getting this close to you
and giving up this dream I built with you.
A fairy tale that isn't coming true.
You've got some growing up to do.

*CHORUS*
I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish I didn't have these doubts,
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now.
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I.
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye.

After all the things you put me through,
tell me why I'm still in love with you.
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call?
You broke my heart, I'm taking it back from you.
And taking back the life I gave to you.
Life goes on before and after you.
I've got some growing up to do.

*CHORUS*

It's time I say my last goodbye.
Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye.

I wish we could have worked it out.
I wish I didn't have these doubts,
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now.
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I.
I wish that I could stop this wishing and
just say my last goodbye

its time i said my last goodbye.
Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye.
its time i said my last goodbye.
Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye.

Irritatingly Obnoxious

I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm slowly going insane.

Maybe I'm just becoming more and more obsessed over certain aspects of my life and I can't seem to let it go. I know I need to "Let go and Let God" but it's just SO hard sometimes. Especially when certain parts of my life I want to change so BAD right now.. it's irritating and slowly becoming more obnoxious to put up with.

I just need a vacation away from everything I think. If I could freeze time and just go visit Hawaii or Fiji or somewhere where no one knew me I think I'd be better off.

To those that know what I'm talking about, don't contact me... don't ask questions just let me be for now :)

A Woman's Question

A Woman's Question
by Lena Lathrop

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing,

Ever made by the Hand above?

A woman's heart and a woman's life,

And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing,

As a child might ask for a toy?

Demanding what others have died to win,

With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,

Manlike, you have questioned me.

Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul,

Until I have questioned thee.

You require that your mutton shall always be hot,

Your socks and your shirts be whole;

I require that your heart be as true as Yah's stars,

And as pure as His heaven, your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,

I require a far greater thing.

A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts,

I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,

And a man that his Maker Yah, could,

Look upon just as He did at the first,

And say, 'it is very good'.

I am fair and young but the rose may fade,

From this soft young cheek one day;

Will you love me amid the falling leaves,

As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean, strong and true,

I may launch my all on its tide?

A loving woman finds heaven or hell,

On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and free,

All things that a man should be;

If you give this all, I would stake my life,

To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook,

You can hire and little to pay;

But a woman's heart and a woman's life

Are not to be won that way.

Peet's Coffee

Offer lasts through today!! Go get your free freddo!

http://www.peets.com/freddo/?cm_mmc=retailemail*09.07.23_Freddo_BOGO*retail*print_btn

King Noodle

Do you live in the Bay Area? Are you in need of a quick in between classes or meetings? Do you like rice and/or noodles with your meat and veggies?

Then you should definitely try this place out!

Have you ever eaten at King Noodle?It's a little Asian restaurant that's based off of rice and noodles! It's cheap, fast, and delicious! Not to mention the portions are fairly large-sized! The atmosphere is warm and friendly and the service is pretty nice too! So if you're in need of fast food, but not the greasy hamburger kind this is just the place for you!

What Teachers Make by Taylor Mali

I read this online the other day and liked it so much I wanted to re post it here! I want to be a teacher someday so this was actually very inspirational. I hope to someday be just like Taylor, and when someone questions what I did with my life I will be able to answer it like this.

What Teachers Make, or
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school

By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

Caught in the Middle

I feel as though life is playing a game with my life.

Not only mine but those people whose lives are intertwined with mine as well. What am I supposed to do about it? When these people come to me for help and I can give nothing? I want to help, to care, to encourage, but I feel as if there is nothing left to give. Especially to one of my best friends. She is having boy problems, and little inexperienced me can only give speculations and advice based off of my one failure relationship. I want to be her support but I feel like I'm supposed to back off and let her deal with it. But that idea seems preposterous to me! How can I let my best friend deal with her problems by herself? I want to help her! I want to be there for her, yet I'm supposed to back off as if I don't care? no way no how!

Now my other friend which is the reason to her problem is also talking to me a lot. And it's getting kinda....interesting I should say. So I'm caught in the middle and honestly it's rather uncomfortable. But I still want to be a friend to both of them..

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show huh Lenka? I wish I could.. but it's not a show for me it's life and I want to be a part of it rather than sitting back and watching it.

Romans 7: 15-20, 24

15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. ^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Romans 7:15-20, 24

This passage is really convicting for me. I mean it's all true! I don't understand what I do on a daily basis, things I do sinfully I keep on doing, but I do not want to do it. And things I want to do, like honor God I do not do as often as I should.

And who can or would want to rescue me? Try the most loving being ever, Our heavenly Father.

My Pastor spoke on this passage two weeks ago during service and it just hit me really hard that I sin a lot, even when I know it's wrong, and even when I know what I should be doing I still repeat the same sin over again. And I also know that I'm responsible for my own sin, and it might condemn me but.. I can't stop doing it! Why why can't I? when I KNOW it's wrong and I want to stop I cannot, yet what I want to do I cannot. Why is life so hard? Why so difficult to comprehend? I will be spending a lot of time on my knees in prayer for the next few weeks trying to figure this out. :|

Song; God WIll Make a Way

So I've been going through a tough time right now. I don't know how to even begin explaining how I have been feeling lately other than absolutely horrible! Why? Well how would you feel if you felt jealous of your best friend? Or rather of the person who likes your best friend? But not jealous in the fact that he likes her but rather, because you feel as though he's replacing you as your best friend's best friend. That's a tongue twister!

I really want to support both of them because they're close friends of mine, but how can I do that when I get irritated every time he shows affection to her? Is it because she doesn't refuse the affection or is it something else?

I really don't know what to do. I'm doing my best to be a friend to both without trying to betray either side.

On a side note this song popped into my head this morning and I really think it fits with how i'm thinking lately. :)

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

Self-Defense

One thing that concerns me a lot is the attack on women. Not that men aren't attacked and raped too, but it seems that the majority of the attacks are aimed at women. And why is that? is it because they are seemingly an easier prey, more defenseless and thus are targeted?

I think that women are targeted because they are seem are objects of satisfaction, rather than human beings.

And to prevent them from being treated like objects I think they should all be given the chance to learn how to defend themselves. When I was in middle school I started taking a self-defense class but I never felt like I improved. I often felt like I was just learning the fancy footwork that people want to just gawk at on TV or something, but nothing useful. Nothing I could use to defend myself or friends on a daily basis. Then for my senior project I took a different self-defense class for 10 weeks. And although it was a shorter experience than my previous self-defense class, this class was particularly aimed at self-defense for women. So we learned how to use our voices as a guard, as well as a few short but very effective attacks and counter attacks.

I honestly feel now that if I were attacked by someone I would be able to defend myself at least a little bit. And taking Aikido in college has also helped with my confidence. I am much more sure of myself as I walk down the street by myself, and this security is something I wish everyone women could feel.

I strongly recommend that everyone enrolls into a self-defense class of some sort, because if nothing else it is exercise with a bit of safety drilled into it.

Update

"So I've got nearly 2 bags full of clothes to donate now! I'm really excited about this project!"

At least that's what I'd like to say. I'm beginning to get discouraged, it seems that there is no end in sight to the amount of clothes I've picked through! But then I remember why I'm doing this and it inspires me to keep sorting a little longer. But sooner or later I need to remind myself again what I learned at Sacred Heart and during the Plunge.

Well tomorrow is a new day though i heard it is to be in the 90s and 100s! Hopefully I'll get more cleared up by then.

Clearing out the Luxuary

So to take my own advice from my previous post I have started going through all of my clothes finding NUMEROUS shirts I hadn't seen in a while, as well as pants. And if I got along so well without realizing they were there then I don't need them anymore do I? I might as well give them to someone who WILL find good uses for them.

And to top it off I've started going through my sister's clothes as well, of course they will be making the final decisions whether or not to keep their clothes, but if I can get the ball rolling all the better.

I'm hoping to have my clothes completely gone through by Saturday, then I will move on to my books and other items that I may or may not use frequently. Lastly I will go through my shoes and pick out the ones that I rarely ware, yet are still in good condition to also donate. It's kind of incredible how much "junk" you can accumulate while you're not looking! And at the same time how hard it is to get rid of some of the things you never use! Especially the ones that are presents from a family member or a close friend. I feel a deep sense of guilt when I look at it and put it in the donation pile, but I feel even guiltier when I look at it on a daily basis and realize I'm never going to use it, so it goes to waste in my hands. Once I donate I'm sure some other more-deserving person will receive it and enjoy so much more.

I wish to donate all of my things to Sacred Heart, however other donation sites are closer to my house than Sacred Heart so they might just end up there.

Alright! I'm off to conquer my clothes again!

Sacred Heart

So after InterVarsity's San Jose Urban Plunge (SJUP) I usually find myself convicted to sell all I have and live like the poor. Thus, I expected the same when I went again this past week. However, I did not feel that way.




I enjoyed volunteering at Sacred Heart I really did! I love working the counter at the clothes closet or food pantry where I could interact with the customers themselves. But I also helped out in the "behind-the-scenes" work too I sorted clothes, and helped people with their donations, sorted through all that, trying to decide whether or not the items were good enough to keep. I also worked in the freezer in the food pantry. THAT was also fun, mainly because it was hot that day, but also because I got to play "tetris" trying to fit everything into the fridge and freezer!

I personally thing that working to interact with the people I'm trying to help is the most beneficial for me. However, working the in back totally proved me wrong. When I worked the counter I got to see the people I was helping, but they would always thank "me" for helping them, for giving them food the things they need. But.. really all I was doing was handing them bags that had been prepared by my friends in the back of the room. I hadn't done anything. Then when I worked the back I realized how much of an impact it is to help out back there. Without the workers in the back the food wouldn't be prepared or packaged, or sorted through, and even though they might not have direct contact with the customers they were helping out in a big way. That was a big realization for me this past week.


And much to my surprise I enjoyed doing background work. I realized that I didn't need to be affirmed for the work I do by the people, just knowing, ME, that I did the work and that I was helping people out in the long run was thanks enough for me. At least that's what I'd like to say, I still seek some sort of appreciation, but I'm working on because, I think, somewhere in the Bible is says that everyone who has done good works on earth will be thanked in heaven. And if that's the case then I don't need the thanks that earth gives me, though, heart-felt "thank-yous" from the people I helped are very touching.


During our SJUP, the people at Sacred Heart had some of us IV kids work the petitioning. What we were supposed to do was get the customers to sign our petition which was to put 3 people on the Board of Director's. These three people were all people who had done numerous good works in the community and Sacred Heart believed that they would be a much welcomed help to the organization. Some of the people were really responsive! But not always in the helpful fashion. A couple of them attacked us while we were petitioning wanting repercussions right then and there, not wanting to wait for change to happen. And it was HARD because all these people wanted was what was rightfully theirs! They wanted a blanket, or clothes or food or some sort of shelter! And as citizens of America aren't these our rights? So why aren't we giving these people THEIR rights? And it hut because we couldn't do anything about it at the time, we could only tell them that change might happen with these people on Board.

Other things I realized during this time was that there is a huge language barrier between me and them. A lot of them are Latino, and I only speak limited Spanish due to 3 years of high school Spanish. In one case I needed the 9 year old daughter to be my translator! But working like this made me want to learn every language possible, or at least enough to be conversational. This is entirely unlikely but I'm going to do the best I can.

So what can we do to help?

First of all stop ignoring the poverty that is right next to you! If you acknowledge that we have a poverty problem that is the first step.

Second, take a step back and look at your lifestyle? Do you have an excessive amount of, say shirts, that you don't need anymore? Are there piles of clothes, books, toys, blankets just lying around your house? Luke 3:11 "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." And that's what we should do too. Go through your things, what do you have multiples of? What if our "wealth" wasn't measured by what we have but what we give away (Todd Madigan)? How much different would our world look at their materialistic luxuries?

Thirdly, go out and give these things that you have two of to those who need it, or if you cannot do that then donate your things to Sacred Heart, or another non-profit organization that has dedicated their life to serving the poor. Sacred Heart is located at 1281 S 1st St San Jose, CA 95110-3431.

Lastly tell everyone, and I really mean everyone! About what you learned from the act of giving, of donating and of your entire experience doing this. Spread the good news about what you've just done to help others. Because if everyone you told did the same as you news would spread fast and the percentage of poverty would decrease at a tremendous rate.

So...think about it ok? At least for a little while then go out and DO something to change the world, be the change you want to see in the world. (Mahatma Ghandi)

Job Searching

This economy is rough.

I know many parents who are being laid off because of budget cuts. And I can't help but feel awkward when they ask what I am to do with my summer. I mean after all in their eyes I'm nothing but a kid looking for a summer job.. and they're right! I'm looking for a job that will give me money and then when school starts up again I'll be gone. I am neither supporting myself nor my family, so what right do I have, to search for a job?

Even as I go about my normal life I see adults working in the places where I would normally seen teens or college students work. ie, Target, Walgreen, Trader Joes, and I feel like they are very over-qualified for those jobs.

But what is the downfall of the economy? Why are we losing money left and right suddenly? Some people blame Bush for the war and say that it costs tons of money to keep our soldiers in Iraq, and maybe they're right, but one person can't possibly be blamed for the outcome of a country! Or can they?

What about us as citizens; can we do anything about it? If we're in a money crisis, that means there's not enough money to go around.. so what do we do? We hoard it of course! If there's not enough for other people that means that there is not enough for us any more so we should hold on to it and never let go right? WRONG, I think that we only had to the crisis! During this time we should be spending our money in order to get our system running properly again. So that rather than being a pack rat with our money we should be sharing it with everyone, and if the whole country did that we surely would not be in a economic crisis any more. Especially with our billionaires out there. They should participate and not guard their money so closely, instead they ought to help out the world a bit, it's not as if, if they lose a million they'll be paupers, but that million could really help out the rest of us lower and middle class people.

What do you think?

Poem

As a welcome to myself, man how selfish do I sound? I am posting a poem I wrote in High School titled Backstage. It was for our school's journal the "Myriad," that year's theme was "Masks Off." I am actually pleased with this poem because it was my first free verse poem, and it was NOT depressing in any way.

Backstage

Behind the closed curtain, you wait with anticipation

for there lies a new dwelling unknown to you

however, if you dare step foot into the passage way

a word of warning:

once you step through the curtain you must not look back!

beyond that opening is a new experience

speak clearly so that all may hear what you have to say

be calm and do not stumble

then take your bow

and exit with flair and confidence

congratulations you were fantstic

now

"masks off" until next year

for the show is over

and the curtains close once again

So tell me what you think :).